The subtle longing for self-destruction always lingers

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CW: this essay mentions alcohol & drug abuse, addiction, and relapse.

“Take half. I know you normally take two but trust me, you want to take half with this one. And don’t mix these with anything else.”

I trusted him. Not only was he my BFF’s little brother, but I’d…

But she doesn’t want me to be part of it

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CW: This essay mentions suicide and euthanasia

When I saw her name on my phone screen, my heart sank. She never calls me this late unless something bad is happening. I felt guilty for missing her calls, and worse when I read her message.

“If you’re still up, please call…

I should have left him right then and there

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“You are weak, just like your entire family,” he hissed at me. I was too exhausted and shocked to defend my family’s honor — maybe also because I kind of agreed with him. …

Children have a right to their privacy, and you’re grossing me out

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He apologized for being late. “We were having a frustrating discussion with our pediatrician, and I lost track of time.”

I shrugged. “Your kid’s health is important, and I didn’t mind waiting.”

With a swift motion, he unlocked the door and let me into his office. While I grabbed the…

He didn’t even have to try

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In the 39 years, I’ve known my dad, I’ve seen him cry three times. One of those times was on his 50th birthday.

My dad isn’t too keen on celebrations and surprises, but 50 was such a milestone; we didn’t want to ignore it. So we decorated his house and…

Is capitalism ruining us as a species?

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I could hear my friend sob on the other end of the line.

“I’m just so tired,” she cried. “And yes, I know I am privileged, and I still have some money left, but it is so hard to find new clients, to grind every day, and not knowing if…

Don’t blame yourself for genuinely missing them

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As if simply existing as a teenager isn’t embarrassing enough, I had terrible teeth and needed to wear braces for two years. I hated every single day of it. I had hooks attached to my upper and lower canines, with a rubber band between them.

My lips would get caught…

Hilaria Baldwin is back on her bullshit again — why she’s not multi-cultural

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In January 2021, Twitter had a field day when they discovered Alec Baldwin’s Spanish wife, Hilaria, was about as Spanish as a hot dog. Contrary to her carefully curated lore, Hilaria didn’t move to the US at 19 from Spain.

Internet sleuths quickly unearthed that she isn’t Hilaria from Mallorca…

Only you can prevent forest fires — and pregnancy

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I. Classic trap

They fell for each other — hard. Love at first sight and a match made in heaven. He was a bit older, divorced, and a father of two boys. She didn’t mind. Seeing how good he was with his sons and their mother only made her love him more.


Practical gifts can be romantic AF

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“If I called you right now, would you pick up the phone?”

We’d been texting back and forward for days. I’m a writer, not a talker. So when he wanted to call me, I hesitated for a second. I was nervous. Even though we’d only been texting, I had already…

Judith Valentijn

Failing forward. Writer. Psychology student. Certified Non-Duality Coach. Reluctant marketer. Reach out:

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